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Funny murder monologues
Funny murder monologues





funny murder monologues

Like a Virgin’s not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. The entire song, it’s a metaphor for big dicks. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. Let me tell you what “Like a Virgin’” is about. Reservoir DogsĪ monologue from the screenplay written by Quentin Tarantino I’m not even sure what that means exactly, but I think it has something to do with the rest of my life! And I think we should get married. You are everything I never knew I always wanted. But now I’m here and I see that that’s not true because. I was afraid that I had already met the woman of my dreams at the dry cleaner’s or something and I was just too busy to notice. But I don’t know, somewhere between the tuna melt and your aunt’s tamales… and they were really great.

funny murder monologues

And now, I know exactly what I want, and my life doesn’t make any sense.Īnd I was doing fine this afternoon, I was doing great! That was me then. This afternoon, I couldn’t decide between a tamale and a tuna melt, but my life made sense. Fools Rush InĪ monologue from the screenplay by Johnny Mercer There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking, I suggest you try it. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.Īt the age of 12 I received my first scribe. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Austin Powers: International Man Of MysteryĪ monologue from the screenplay written by Mike Myers Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky BobbyĢ0 Hilarious Monologues From Movies That Will Keep You Laughing 1. Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery 20 Hilarious Monologues From Movies That Will Keep You Laughing.







Funny murder monologues